2 1/2 years

#18 - 20

# 18 - A problem that I've had

• Asking for help. I am the biggest do it yourself-er, control everything, superwoman complex person I know. It's not that I can't ask anyone for help but that I want things done a certain way. I never thought I had a type A personality but I totally see it now.

# 19 - Five items I lust for

1. Knowledge - I love to learn. If I could, I'd spend my waking hours in a bookstore or in a class. From photography to tennis classes, from medicine to cosmetology, it doesn't matter. It's probably why I find intelligence attractive.
2. Sweets - My sweet tooth is me weakness. It's a constant struggle on a day to day basis.
3. Success - I long for success in my career, with my family, with myself. It's the one thing I think about on a daily basis.
4. True Friendship - Someone who is willing to give as much as they receive. Someone who shares the same interest as I, who has some of the same values. I'm not sure why women find it difficult to trust are get along but I notice it all around me. I admit I don't actively seek friendship as much as I do the other things but it is very much on my wish list.
5. Travel - I love love love to travel. I'm always planning my next trip or looking at exotic places that I want to visit on the web. I think mother nature has provided us with amazing treats and we just have to find them.

# 20 - My Fears

• My greatest fear is Failure. I hate to fail at anything. I try my best at the simplest task because I have a set standard for myself. Failure is never an option.

# 17 - Something I'm proud of

I am very proud of my hair or should I say how I've learned to accept my hair. For years I tried in vain to make my hair look like someone else's- anyone else's. When I was a child I prayed that my hair would grow - denied. As a teenager I faithfully went to the hairdresser every 2 weeks to keep my hair from doing what it does - denied. As a young adult I continued to take pictures of impossible hairstyles (either due to texture, density or lack of length) and begged to have my hair transformed - denied. Through all of this it never occurred to me to allow my hair to be free and natural.

In a perfect world, once I decided to go natural it would have been an easy transition - right - wrong! For my first attempt I wore braids for 6 months, removed them and had my hair cut into a healthy TWA. The first time I glanced in a mirror, I was heart broken and cried myself to sleep. Crazy thoughts haunted me, "I'm ugly, No one will want me, people will make fun of me."So when I woke up, the very first thing I did was make an appointment to have my hair relaxed. Five years passed before I had the courage to try again. This time my transition was slower. I slowly grew my hair out by roller setting my hair and wearing hairstyles that hid the two different textures. When I was ready, really ready- I chopped my hair off again but this time when I looked in the mirror, there were no tears, the fear was gone and no questions loomed about my acceptance from anyone.

So I am proud that I love my hair!

# 11- 16 due to technical difficulties

# 11 - Mi Familia

• My family is my strength. Everything I am is due to the love and nourishment I received as a child. From the "Soulfood" family dinners to running around in grandma's backyard through the sprinklers with my cousins, I was blessed to have grown up with stability and complete acceptance. Through the years, the dynamics of my family have changed but not the love.

#12 - Five Fine Men (I love black men - in all shades of color - they just have to have swag. This list is in no way complete, just the first five that came to mind. There are so many more)

1. Boris Kodjoe (all over amazing)
2. Michael Ealy (hypnotize me with those eyes)
3. Dennis Haysbert (seduce me with that voice)
4. Will Smith (He oozes swag and sex appeal)
5. Morris Chestnut (take me on a chocolate high and never let me come down)

#13 - My Body

• I am very fortunate to be a woman who loves herself and her body. I love the curve of my hips and breast. I adore the dip in my waist and the small of my back. I admire the fullness of my bum and thighs. The natural strength of my calves and biceps make me wonder what tribe I descended from and make me proud of a heritage unknown. I think my smile is pretty and my eyes are soulful. I love the bend in my hair. I love my body!

# 14 - What I wore today

• Burnt Orange blouse with flecks of gold and brown
• Chocolate Shorts
• 3 tiered dangling earrings and an amber bracelet (given to me by a friend)
• Brown sandals

#15 - Does my Zodiac fit me - Taurus

• According to my sign I am stubborn, persistent, practical, reliable, passionate, down to earth and seek balance. This is definitely how I would describe myself. I don't follow my daily horoscope but the broad description is pretty accurate. I've always been goal oriented and self driven. I'm not certain if I can attribute it to my zodiac or my mom but either way - I'll take it. Plus I'm in amazing company - Malcolm X, Janet Jackson, The Rock, Stevie Wonder.

# 16 - What If....

• What if slavery never occurred- I imagine the heights we would have reached would be unmeasurable by today's standards.
• What if hatred was nonexistent- racism, sexism.. all the ism's that hold us back as a society would be gone and we would soar as a race of humans without classifications.
• What if we used all of our brain - currently it's suggested that humans use less than 10% of their brain power. We could possibly heal illnesses with thought, communication would be carried on the wings of a summer breeze.
• What if we reached our full potential intended by God?

# 10 - First ten songs on ipod shuffle

Be warned I have a very eclectic taste in music:

1. Strength, Courage and Wisdom - India Arie
2. I smile - Kirk Franklin
3. Chocolate High - India Arie and Music Soul Child
4. Am I Worth It - Heather Headley
5. Bruised but not Broken - Joss Stone
6. When I look to the sky - Train
7. Defying Gravity - Kristian Chenoweth and Idina Menzel
8. Into You - Tamia
9. I don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith
10. Poetry - Javier Colon

# 9 - The importance of education

I could write a dissertation on this subject but I'll attempt to be brief.

• Knowledge is power
• The future belongs to those who prepare for it today
• If I knew then what I know now
• Education equals freedom

There are numerous quotes about the importance of education for a reason, your brain is the most important muscle you have. As this muscle is developed so is every other aspect of your life. Your health, career, social status, opportunities, life experiences etc. - all improve as your knowledge on the respective topics grow. Whats more, the more you empower a person with an education, the more empowered that persons legacy will be because they will teach their children. Education is the one thing that can never be taken away.

If education weren't so important, there never would have been a law forbidding slaves to learn.

# 8 - What I ate today

I am in the process of determining what mixtures of food work well for me. I don't believe everyone needs the same portions or the same mixtures. With that said

• Bacon and eggs ( with cheese) for breakfast
• Strawberry Yogurt for snack one
• Berry Smoothie for lunch (enriched with oatmeal,flax seed and almond milk)
• Plain M&M's for snack two
• 6 inch Turkey w/provolone cheese Subway Sandwich for dinner

# 7 - Five pet peeves

1. People who chew with their mouths open - disgusting, disgusting, disgusting.
2. Inconsiderate people - stop your car in the middle of the street, clearly no one else needs to use the road or go ahead, use your cell phone in the movie theater - we clearly came to hear your conversation and not the movie.
3. Reality TV shows - not all of them but any of the " House Wives" or "Jersey Shores" type shows. Any show that is totally focused on self absorbed people who make no attempt to have a positive affect on the world.
4. Stupidity - not to be confused with ignorance. If you know you are uneducated about something and choose not to learn about it - don't argue a point or engage in a conversation about it.
5. Grown a*# children - Allow kids to be kids, allow them to learn to love themselves before you start to alter their looks with weaves and fake nails and dressing them as if they are 20. Parents treat them like little adults and then wonder why they think their grown.

I'm Just Saying.....

# 6 - Your views on main stream music

This is difficult because I have a very eclectic taste in music. I have everything from Broadway tunes to country to rap shuffling through my ipod. Clearly some genres such as Broadway and Country tell a story and it's hard to critic; however, other genres sometimes disappoint me. More specifically R&B and Rap. I find most released items leave me feeling empty. They very overtly talk about sex in a nonchalant manner. They even go so far as to glamorize hedonistic behavior with no regard to consequences. Other times they degrade women as if our existence is optional to the human race. Lyrics express little value in humanity or life and materialistic values are placed on a pedestal. To summarize, I don't think I've heard anything in a very long time that will be played on the radio in 10 years. The songs are so shallow that they are easily replaced by the next hot beat.

There is one disclaimer. Whereas the music leaves little to be desired, we have some incredible entertainers (not to be confused with great singers). I have admiration for artist such as Beyonce, Rihanna, Daughtry, Eminen, Lil Wayne etc. ability to entertain us but I lack the same admiration for the content of their music. At the same time, artist who can sing but aren't as flashy such as Heather Headley, Kem, Javier (contestant on The Voice) get little recognition and make music with content that addresses more than superficial issues.

Wouldn't it be something if the two worlds meet and start to make beautiful music that matters.

Workout Hair

When it's too hot to have hair touching you because you are rockin it out in the gym or on the track, this is one of my favorite go to hairstyles. I also put the bottom in a separate ponytail when temperatures are in the 90's like today. Never let your hair stop you from caring for your body.

Day one - Day five

I'm starting a little late on the 30 day challenge but how does the saying go "better late than never"

5 ways to win my heart

1. Make me laugh
2. Compliment my strengths but help me improve me weaknesses
3. Be an amazing lover and intimate partner
4. Be honest but kind
5. Love yourself first

Something I feel strongly about

• Parenting is both a noun and a verb. It is something you are and something you must do, even when you don't think you have anything left to give. Parenting is the ultimate sacrifice.

A book I love

• The Autobiography of Malcolm X - I learn something every time I read it

Bullet your entire day

• I'm going to cheat on this. It's too much at this point. Which brings us to today's

Things I would say to an ex

• Thank you for an amazing ride. I have learned as much from our mistakes as I have from our successes. My only regret is that we didn't forgive each other at the same time and therefore missed out on something great. I am grateful that we are able to be friends and though our love has been redefined - it still feels my heart and nourishes me.

30 Day Blog Challenge

Birthday Hair

I loved my hair on my birthday even though I didn't do a thing to it!

Two Years and Counting ;)

Maintenance - I wash my hair every two weeks and I always let it air dry. I spritz it when needed with water or leave in conditioner. I sleep with a hair bonnet on to keep the lent at bay and I retighten every 4 weeks. It doesn't get any easier.

Styling - After two years I am more in love with my hair than ever before. It's a decent length that allows me to feel comfortable styling now. Before I was only comfortable free styling with an occasional loc loop curl set; but now I love the spiral curls that I have discovered with the wrap-loc tool. My hair is so bouncy and sassy that I don't mind the time it takes to dry naturally. However, the ponytail still alludes me.

Live and learn - The biggest lesson that I've learned is not to wait too long between retightening my hair. The one time I went between 6-8 weeks my roots were so thin on some locks I became a little worried. The other lesson I've learned is not to scratch my scalp no matter how much it itches. I'm sure this has contributed to my thinning roots. I thought my days of an itching scalp was over a long time ago - but alas it has returned.

All and all - I love my natural hair!